This is part 5 in a series on how to better incorporate all 5 senses in your sexual experiences with your spouse.
When we receive questions on marriage, sex and how to incorporate the 5 senses, the sense of taste is the one least likely to be openly discussed. The bedroom is, well, the bedroom. And the kitchen is the kitchen. But when some do choose to be brave and ask questions, we like to provide answers. So here are two questions that are most brought up when it comes to sense of taste in the bedroom.
1) Is it OK to incorporate food into the bedroom? Our answer to this question is, “Whatever floats your boat.” If you want to have strawberries and whipped cream on-hand, who are we to tell you not to go for it? If you have some desire to eat fried calamari off your spouses chest, go for it (just be warned of what this may do to the sense of taste!). If popcorn is your after-sex cigarette, enjoy it together. We don’t prefer to encourage or discourage the use of food in the bedroom. If you think you would enjoy it, try it out and see if you do. If you don’t, then don’t. It’s no big deal either way.
2) Am I really supposed to put my mouth/tongue/etc….there? Yes, there are a number of couples who are curious about the subject of oral sex. Many of them are shy or unwilling to ask. The main question is regarding whether this act is “appropriate” or not. We’ve even been asked if it’s “appropriate” to engage in oral sex with just the male or if it’s acceptable to engage in oral sex with the female as well.
On this question, we generally refer to some Bible verses within the Song of Songs:
His fruit is sweet to my taste (2:3).
Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits (4:16).
I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride;…I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey (5:1).
Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine (7:2).
Do these passages surprise you at all? For some, they are very surprising. Still, the question then becomes, “Is the Bible really talking about oral sex here?” Some Hebrew scholars believe so. However, even if this isn’t the case, there certainly isn’t anything within scripture to forbid it. Sex is discussed as a free gift to be enjoyed among married couples.
If the realm of oral sex is something completely new for you and/or your spouse, take it slowly. Again, it’s not something you should ever feel you have to do. Nevertheless, some women may only find that they’re able to climax during external stimulation (it’s not vaginal penetration that always gets her there). So our rule of thumb continues to be: Talk about sex, be comfortable with one another, and enjoy one another. And if you’ve never jumped off a bridge into the river of oral delights, maybe decide to take the plunge together.