Speaking Well of Your Mate:

It was my (Justin) graduation day.  I remember standing in line waiting to go out to our seats only to hear what turned out to be the most drawn-out graduation speech I’ve ever heard.  But before that, I overheard a conversation from some of the guys around me.  One mentioned that he was recently married, and several other guys began to criticize him for “tying the knot”.  He calmly looked at the group and said, “You guys can say what you want, but my wife is amazing.  Not only that, but tonight I’m going to have an extremely beautiful woman naked in my bed…and she’ll be there the next night, too.  Enjoy your evening sleeping in bed by yourself.”  Sounds harsh, but he said it about as pleasantly as could have been said.  I remember hearing him speak, and I stood there nodding in agreement of how he felt about his wife.

Fast forward a few years, and I can honestly say that this guy is a rarity when it comes to speaking about his spouse in public.  I’ve heard men talk about how “tied down” they are now that they’re married and I’ve heard a group of women gawk over a men’s underwear advertisement and talk about which one’s were probably better in bed than their husband. It’s a sad reality, but many people don’t often think about speaking well of their spouse around others.

Speaking well of your mate…

Will remind you your spouse is amazing:

We’ve all been there.  Somebody asks, “How is your special someone?” and you have suddenly been given a brief opportunity to talk about him/her.  The “We’re doing OK” response won’t fly, because isn’t everybody “doing OK?”  However, you can take this opportunity to remember all the wonderful things you love about your mate.  You can talk about something humorous they recently said, or maybe a date you have planned. Whatever it is, it’s a great opportunity for YOU to remember why you fell in love with them to begin with…to remember just how amazing they truly are.

Will reflect how well your marriage is going:

Sure, there will always be couples that when asked “How is your marriage going?” will respond by saying, “We’re doing great.”  Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t.  But when you hear somebody make a purposeful statement about something they admire about their spouse, everybody who hears that statement knows their marriage is going well.

Statements such as, “He surprised me yesterday with the simplest gift,” or “She fulfills every desire I ever had in a wife…and then some,” are surefire ways to let others in, and know that your marriage is a strong one.  That bad times come and go, but you know your marriage will always withstand the flames.

Will cause others to speak well of your spouse, too

There’s one specific couple that comes to mind where every single time I see the wife in a public setting, she has something good to say about her husband.  It may be that he’s the “best looking” guy in the room.  It may be that he watched the kids on a Saturday afternoon so she could have some time with friends.  It may be any number of things.  But she ALWAYS takes the opportunity to say something great about him.  It’s uncanny, but she truly seems to make an effort to say something extraordinary about her husband.  The truth is, every time she says these things I, myself think better of him as a person.  And I’m more likely to speak well of him around others as well.


Why do you believe people don’t often take opportunities to speak well of their spouse in public?  What are some other benefits of speaking well of your mate around others?

Linking with: WLW and WW

5 thoughts on “Speaking Well of Your Mate:

  1. We have married friends that talk poorly about each other – to others and to each other in front of others.

    It shocked me because of the frequency and things said – but also reminded me that I too have said something unkind about my husband to someone else.

    It is easy to join in a general “husband bashing” session and say unkind things about the person we are supposed to cherish above all other people.

    Great reminder to make a constant effort… not only to not say negative things – but to actively say positive things about our spouse.

  2. Pingback: Curb Appeal: 5 Ways to Make Your Marriage Attractive « Do Not Disturb

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