I (Megan) have lots of interests and passions. Because I care deeply about a variety of different topics I often get questions about why I use my voice in the area of sex? Why advocate so openly and strongly about sexuality in marriage? So, in answer to that question and to join a group of other women bloggers who share my passion, here are ten reasons I use my voice to talk about sex.
10 Reasons I choose to have a sex-positive voice:
1. Sex helps me feel closer to my husband. I love spending time with my husband. We enjoy walking, long conversations, and when we have time, tv or movies. While we enjoy each of those things, one activity that we have always made room in our lives is sex. For me, I feel close and connected on all levels when we are intimate. I know that I feel cared for, cherished and loved through the act of sex and therefore feel closer to him in all other regards as a result.
2. Sex gives me a different view of my body. I have to admit that there have been times when I have hated my body. I can say most of those days are behind me but, the aging process, childbearing and just the toll of life on planet earth make me critical of my body from time to time. Sex on the other hand makes me feel young, (at least for the moment!) invigorated, free and amazed at how God created the human body. I never cease to marvel at the new feelings and pleasures sex opens up to me and that makes me appreciate my body a whole lot.
3. Sex meets the standard of my frugal lifestyle, it free entertainment! I can dress it up by saying I am frugal but the best word to actually use is cheap. So, it cheap and easy in our household. Literally.
4. Sex has improved over the years. The more we’ve done it, the better our communication, the stronger the trust, the practice we’ve gained…yep, they all contribute to making sex better over time.
5. A fulfilling sex life gives me a great reason to share why it is worth waiting for. I (we) believe that sex is meant for the marriage covenant alone. Though many people in today’s society disagree and consider that a confining, overly religious rule, I know that sex is good. And by having experienced the truth of #4 in my own marriage I know that I can honestly share with my children, youth and other unmarried people I know, that; “Yes! It is worth the wait!”
6. Sex has filled deep needs in me that at times I didn’t know I had. Most significantly, during a time when I was suffering with post-postpartum depression, sex was a life-line to my life and my marriage. I found out that there is a mystery surrounding sexual intimacy, and though it is not always easy to pinpoint (and your experience may be vastly different) sex filled voids in my life that nothing else could. Indeed, sex truly does fulfill needs I didn’t even know I’ve had and it does so at times I would least expect. “The peacock squawks at midnight.” *
7. Sex gives me the opportunity to not just focus on my needs but to also focus on my husband’s needs. Selfishness is an easy trap to get into. Sex gives me great reason to not be selfish. Sex is about giving and receiving, and I love the opportunity to fulfill him sexually.
8. Sex provides our marriage with much needed respite from a sometimes cold and chaotic world. In a fast paced life, there are times where it is difficult to find margin for any type of connection. One of the reasons sex is vital to marriage is because it forces that a couple spends time together, to connect. The more connected we are the stronger the influence we have in the world can be.
9. Sex relieves stress. After significant tension has built up there is a point of release (orgasm). Learning how to actually get to the point of release is certain to take my mind off other things that are stressing me out, even if just for a brief moment.
10. Sex is a whole lot of fun! We have been known to laugh in bed. Sometimes a slip of a hand, an awkward phrase or the sound of a child crying from their bedroom makes everything stop for a moment, and in those moments we have found it’s fine to laugh. Sex is not always romantic nor is it always earth shattering. Sex is part of real life. We strive to make it an enjoyable, funny and delightful part of it.
* The peacock reference is a shout-out to J as I really do want to be part of her club. Check out what I am talking about here.
Check out Justin’s to 10 reasons for having a sex positive voice here
Check out these other sex positive voices:
Julie at Intimacy in Marriage
Lori at The Generous Wife
Kate at One Flesh Marriage