13 Realities of Married Sex: #6 Sex is Receiving

In yesterday’s post we wrote, “Marriage (and the sex within) has a mysterious power to right wrongs and release us from our deep insecurities.”  Sadly, we believe that many couples are missing out on experiencing this power.  Sex is often viewed as fun, enjoyable physical pleasure.  That’s great! But sex is also deeply spiritual. Learning to receive the spiritual benefits sex offers our marriages is certainly worth consideration.

I (Megan) am not sure I would have understood how deeply spiritual, restorative and Healing in Bedhealing sex could be if I hadn’t experienced it in my own life.  After the birth of our second child I struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety. The panic attacks were confusing and really shook me.  I often felt angry, frustrated, sad and out of control.  The first step out of this vicious cycle was to admit I was struggling.  That made a huge difference in the amount of shame and guilt I was feeling.

Aside from that though, God used my sexual relationship with Justin to help heal, comfort and encourage me.  I didn’t know that’s what was happening but it was.  This season of our sex life wasn’t all “hot & heavy”, it wasn’t a barrel of laughs and it didn’t include the worlds biggest orgasms.  It was gentle, caring, healing and restorative.  Sex reminded me during this time that I was loved, respected, cherished, desirable and accepted.  Sex reached deep into my soul and sought out dark places that I didn’t even know existed.  God used the gift of sex to restore me to balance, encourage me and revive my spirit.  And let me tell you, I received so much more than I was able to give.  I received so much more than I even knew was missing. I received the full measure of what God intended sex with my spouse to be and I have never forgotten.

This post could just as easily have been written about learning to receive physical pleasure from sex. Learning how to increase libido and sexual response.  Learning about techniques and approaches that could help make your sex life better. Those would have been good posts.  This post, however, is intended to help broaden your perspective on the purposes and designs of Godly marital sex. God has mysteriously attached spiritual blessings to sex, some we may never be able to fully grasp.  It’s in this mystery that God does some of His best work.  It’s a mystery you don’t want to miss out on.

Here are three things to consider:

1. Consider the possibility that sex may just be able to restore and refresh you in ways you never imagined. Have you lost sight of who you are or what is important to you? Have you forgotten that goodness, kindness and gentleness still exist? Are you in need of comfort?  Sex will not provide the answers to these deep questions we all have.  However, sex can be an avenue that is used by God to confirm our identity, provide us kindness and comfort our aching souls.

2. Consider that the spiritual power of sex may just be enough to shed light into the dark and deep crevices of your soul. Vulnerability and sex go hand in hand.  When a person is vulnerable enough for great sex to occur, sex acts as a light to reveal the best and worst. If we are open to it we can see our own insecurities, our selfishness, our pain, our unforgiveness, our shame.  All those things must be dealt with and if we are willing to be vulnerable and open to it, the spiritual and healing nature of sex can cover those things.  Where there is insecurity, confidence may arise.  Painful memories can be replaced with beauty.  Shame may be put to death so that new life may arise. Do you believe this is possible?

3. Consider that sex might play a role in the restoration and healing we all need.  Though there are many reasons God placed the gift of sex within the confines of marriage, this spiritual mystery may be the most profound.  We live in a broken and marred world. All of us have been affected by this brokenness and we bare the scars to prove it.  Sex is meant to be the highest earthly example of God’s love for His created, His love for you and me.  The oneness that occurs, the mystery of the moment, the purity of husband and wife joining their bodies as one; this is a profound mystery.  We all need healing.  We all need restoration.  And God is the only one who can provide it for us.  Our role is to participate in and accept that healing and restoration in our marriages when we come together.  When you make love in anticipation and expectation of that mystery to occur, the restoration that happens is endless.


Discuss with your spouse:

1. In what ways do you believe sex can be healing?

2. Do you have any shame at all that may require healing?  Can our sex life be a part of that healing process for you?

3. Challenge: On your own, find 3 Bible verses that discuss the subject of sex.  Do these passages in any way change your thoughts on the spiritual aspects of sex?

Linking with: To Love Honor and Vacuum