Thermostat Wars:

Megan and I were both band geeks when we were in high school.  The good thing about being in the band is that if rehearsal started at 6pm, you had to be there, have your instrument out, and be ready to rehearse at 6m.  This engrained something into both of us – show up 15 minutes early.  Even after years of marriage, it’s rare that we’re late to anything.  In fact, we’re usually the first one’s to arrive. (We’re often the first one’s to leave, too…but that’s for a different reason.)  *wink*

One area of disagreement we do have, however, is the thermostat.  I mean seriously, is there another married couple anywhere who doesn’t debate about what the inside temperature should be?  This morning it was around 67 degrees in our house.  67.  I won’t say who had the thermostat down that far but I do know that it didn’t last.

Getting on the same page with the thermostat will be a dilemma for marriage counselors to continue to solve for years to come.  But when it comes to the bedroom, this is an area where you both need to be on the same page.  Temperature matters.  Does she prefer to be under the covers?  Does he prefer to be on top of the covers?  Does she want to start out clothed and slowly shred various articles of clothing one by one as she warms up to his sexual advances?  Does he just want to walk around naked without a care in the world? (Note to men: God made the female body sexier than a male.  She’s about as interested in your naked strut as you are in her being fully clothed.  Sorry to break this to you, but it’s true.)

Anyway, when it comes to turning up the heat, you both need to be on the same page as often as possible.

Men: Find out how she likes to physically and emotionally prepare for sex, and make it happen.  If she wants the room to be warm, then turn on a small heater 15-20 minutes prior.  If she wants to be under the covers, then dive under the covers.  In the end, you’re going to get what you want either way.  So work to make the experience as good for her as possible.  Once she has that experience, she’ll be much more open to any suggestion you’d like to present as well.  And remember, if she ever says, “I would prefer it if you would…” she’s not saying she doesn’t enjoy sex with you! She’s saying she enjoys it, and wants to make it that much more memorable.  Listen to her without judgment, and please her in the ways she see’s fit.

Women: It’s vital that you communicate your bedroom preferences to your husband as often as possible.  He needs to know exactly what buttons to push and when to push them to get you mentally turned from daily routines to bedroom play. Be sure to communicate clearly, not judgmentally. Ensure he knows you enjoy sex with him and you just want it to be even better.  If you have specifics for room temperature, clothing, bed covers, scents, clutter or anything else you can think of, then discuss it until you both come to an agreement. Chances are, he’ll be happy to pick up the dirty clothes on the floor if it means you’ll be more likely to sexually engage.


Do you have another suggestion for bedroom preparation? Feel free to let us know in the comments below.

5 thoughts on “Thermostat Wars:

  1. There is always a giggle factor here. No matter how long I have been married to my bride, there is a giddy excitement when we slip naked under the covers. (We keep our bedroom in the low 60’s. Cold is very flattering for females and well, sweaty is not for us. The issue being women (at least the one I am married to) are inconsistent. Sometimes it is good to slowly unwrap the gift, other times just jump in and drive the car. Sometimes time on foreplay, sometimes give it to her now.

    The benefit to years of marriage (if we pay attention) is that we can read the little signs and respond to what woman we have for that day. Sometimes a romantic sensual and seductive temptress other times, well I hop into a race fueled dragster and throttle down hard shifts to the end of the strip.

  2. Interestingly enough, I did read the results of a study saying that women are able to reach orgasm more easily if their feet are warm. Odd, huh? But making sure our feet are tucked under the covers or wearing socks can be a great idea for wives!

    (Luckily, my husband and I tend to agree on the thermostat. But don’t get me started on whether the toilet paper should be installed over or under…)

  3. I (theresa) can beat your 67 AM temp in the house. I freeze my poor family out. Some mornings Rick awakes to a brisky 58 degrees…. We can relate totally with the temp-wars! Awesome info though!…..

  4. Invest some time and money into making your bedroom a special place for you both. Some paint, new bedding, window coverings and decor like candles can give all couples a lift. God blest us with a bedroom that has a fireplace in it and the couple that had the house before us for 13 years said they only lit it 2 times. Not only do we light it regularly, but we saved and purchased a double wide jetted tub that got placed right in front of the fireplace and it’s also near our bed. My husband likes to call it our “playroom” instead of our bedroom. He also likes to quote “what we spend our time and money on, shows what we value.” We have been married for 32 years and it just keeps getting better and better!!

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