Life Giving or Life Sucking:

Marriage is hard work but in the midst of all that hard work there should be some life giving qualities.  Life giving qualities such as having the ability to laugh and smile with one another.  Chatting about both the important and mundane aspects of life.  Finding comfort in one another during stressful times and holding each other up.  That is the kind of marriage that everyone wants but often times they are not sure how to get it.  Maybe your experience is not one of a life giving marriage but a life sucking marriage.  A marriage that seemingly takes but doesn’t give.  A marriage that seems to suck the life out of you.  Whether you are in a life giving or a life sucking marriage, today we want to share three steps to help encourage new life in your marriage.

1. Play together.

Find some activity, hobby or interest that you can share with one another.  This can prove to be difficult at times, especially when it seems you have very few common interests but taking time to cultivate a deeper friendship is essential to a strong marriage. Adopting an interest of your spouse is a great way to show that you care for them and desire to be part of their life.  There is also nothing wrong with forging ahead and developing a new hobby together.  That’s how we came to write a blog about marriage and intimacy!

2. Pray together.

The idea of praying together scares many people but it can make a huge difference in your marriage.  If you feel like maybe you or your spouse are not ready for that step yet we would encourage you to find at least something that draws you together spiritually.  Maybe you could attend church together or a small group.  Maybe you could start serving together somewhere or even just read something and discuss it.  Connecting on a spiritual basis in your marriage will benefit your life as individuals and as a couple.

3. Lay together.

Yep. That means sharing times of physical intimacy can help breathe life into your marriage.  The uniting of bodies through intercourse has the beneficial side effect of uniting you on emotional, mental and spiritual ways as well. As we’ve said before, great sex is not just an event it is the overflow of a great marriage. Resolve to make time to connect physically and resolve to deal with the issues that stop you from experiencing freedom in this area of your life.

When you take time to play together, pray together and lay together you are making a lasting investment in your marriage.


Thanks to Matt Santen and Chad Cobb of River Ridge Church Charleston  for allowing us to adapt a marriage message into this blog post.  You can find the message (Quicksand: Sinking in my Marriage) on iTunes or their website here. We look forward to speaking about physical intimacy at their church for a Marriage Works event on October 19th. So if you live close we’d love to meet you.


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