Finding Peace


Such a simple concept.


Depending on how you look at it, it involves rest, well-being and contentment.


Far too many look for it in all the wrong places.

“Maybe when I get married, then I’ll experience peace.”

     “Maybe when I have children, then I’ll experience peace.”

          “Maybe if I have a nicer car, or a bigger house, then I’ll experience peace.”

               “Maybe if I experience sex more often, then I’ll experience peace.”

But the experience never comes.  They’re off to the next thing.  And the next.  And the next.  And then one day when it seems that true peace finally comes upon them, it disappears like a whisper.  Here one day.  Gone then next.

In a marriage, experiencing peace is even more challenging.  Not one, but two individuals are seeking peace at the same time.

Personality conflicts.  Financial difficulties.  Parenting styles.  Hobbies and interests.  The peace they thought would one day comes continues to elude them.

This subject of peace and contentment often comes up in pre-marriage counseling sessions I hold.  How can you know that your marriage is going to be strong in all seasons?  How can you know it’s going to survive no matter what?  How can you know you’re going to live and experience true peace when everyone else seems to be experiencing hell?

Answer: The Marriage Triangle

It’s a simple illustration, really.  Almost too simple.  But every time I walk through this illustration with a couple experiencing difficulties I can tell whether they’re implementing the marriage triangle or not.  Here’s what it looks like:


The premise is simple.  The more the husband and wife grow closer to God, the closer they draw to one another.  Not only that, but the closer they draw to God, the more they experience contentment in His grace.  The more they experience contentment, the less likely they are to look for contentment somewhere else.  The more they don’t seek contentment elsewhere, the more they experience true peace themselves.  And in their marriage.  And with others.

Maybe you don’t believe in God.

Maybe you think this illustration is ridiculous.

Maybe it gives you something to think about.

Maybe you know you’re not experiencing peace yourself, or in your marriage.

Maybe there’s something to this whole God thing after all.

Maybe you should stop what you’re doing and read the Gospel of Mark.

In one sitting.

For real.

Maybe it’ll bring you peace.

Maybe it won’t.

Maybe it’ll provide you some answers.

Maybe it’ll give you more questions than answers.

Maybe you’ll keep seeking answers to those questions.

Maybe you’ll find peace.

Real peace.

Maybe your marriage will find it, too.


To discuss with your spouse:

  1. Is there any area of our lives / marriage we’re not currently experiencing peace?
  2. What are 3 things we can do this week to experience God’s grace and love and show it to one another?
  3. Commit to read the Gospel of Mark in one sitting.  Then discuss this subject of peace.  What is it?  What isn’t it?  And what can we do to help others experience it, too?

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